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12 May 2010 @ 02:29 pm
"Remember" (Lex/Chlex one-shot): Angst/Romance; PG-15  
TITLE: Remember



SUMMARY: Lex remembers a time long gone.

A/N: Here's a brief fic in between updates. If you haven't read them yet, you can also check out Chapter 14 of Back from the Dead and the one-shot Sneaky , which helped me win the latest NS Fanfic Challenge.


I remember lying next to you on those white cotton sheets so different from my cold and decadent four-poster of expensive purple satin linen. I can still see the moonlight filter through the half-drawn curtains of the bare-walled bedroom and illuminate your soft curves, which you’d let me trace with my hands; hands that were eager to love and prove I could treasure something beautiful and help it grow, despite the name with which I was branded at birth. I remember I once dreamt I could be that man.

I remember the way your deep emerald eyes used to shine with mirth when you made fun of me in that cosy safe house living-room as you did your best to make me forget there was a fair chance my father wouldn’t let us see the end of it alive. I should have been the one comforting you after the explosion, which had forced me to separate you from your Dad, and instead it was you who gave me the strength to keep on going. I remember you once made me feel deserving of a friend such as you.

I remember how the green of your eyes changed its shade to show you were pissed at me for keeping things from you that I believed you were better off not knowing. I remember the freckles in your darkened pupils and how they sparkled like stars in a clear summer sky as we became one for the first time. I remember holding your gaze then, wishing you’d remember me like that forever, enveloped in your warmth, loving you like only my mother’s son was capable of doing. I remember you once made me feel deserving of your love.

I remember the cool summer breeze blowing through the window and touching our slightly feverish skin. I can still feel you tremble in my arms as I spooned you from behind and brought your petite frame close to my body, which yearned to feel your warmth seeping through its pores and reaching the cold and solitary recesses of my battered soul. I remember wanting to stop time forever, wishing I could shelter you from the ugliness of the world and hold you tight and never let go. I remember what it felt like to really love someone for the first time.

I remember your young untainted passion, the way your soft lips and your exploring hands mapped the contours of a body which had been abused by years of pain inflicted by my own hands or by those of strangers’. I remember feeling a hundred wounds start to scab and heal the moment your lips grazed the old reminders of my wild youth. I remember stifling a sob when you traced a childhood scar with loving fingers and feeling the treacherous tears fill my eyes when you sought my mouth and blessed me with your kiss. I remember what it felt like to be finally loved.

I remember feeling shaky and insecure in a bedroom for the first time in my life, afraid of not being able to stop once I set my pent-up emotions free at last, free from the confines of the prison my Luthor upbringing had built around them. I remember your fingers intertwined with mine as you urged me to fill you and the way you looked being lit by the night- a pool of light amidst the dark. I remember wanting to be part of that light, wishing it could engulf me forever as you opened your body like a beautiful flower to me and I slipped into your sweet and tight sheath at last. I remember drowning in you, seeking to mingle our breaths, to merge our essences, to give my mother’s child the chance to be the man she’d have been proud to call her son.

I remember the three words that you murmured in my ear as fiery passion consumed me, the words I had always yearned to hear my father say to me. And I remember looking into your eyes as I came undone- the three words I wanted to utter choking me- repeating in a silent mantra: Remember me.

I remember all the things that were
I remember all the things that couldn't have been
I remember all of this but it belongs to time's past
I remember everything and the feelings that wouldn't last
I remember most of all what I wanted to say
But it remains to another time
A time of a moonlit day


A/N: The excerpt of the poem “Moonlit Day” included at the end of this fic belongs to Matthew Jenkins. Thanks for the inspiration.

Current Mood: melancholymelancholy
eternal_moonieeternal_moonie on May 12th, 2010 06:10 pm (UTC)
I remember loving Chloe/Lex scenes on a show called Smallville.
I totally love this story!!
lillianschild: betrayedlillianschild on May 13th, 2010 07:05 pm (UTC)
I remember loving that show too; pity it's now defunct. :D

Allie: lex blue eyes itsaslashythingitsaslashything on May 12th, 2010 06:30 pm (UTC)
Beautiful. Simply beautiful. Thank you for sharing this.
lillianschild: hurtlillianschild on May 13th, 2010 07:08 pm (UTC)
You're welcome. I knew you'd appreciate it, being told from Lex's POV (I love putting myself in his shoes; masochist much?)
karahalliwell: Sv ; Chloekarahalliwell on May 12th, 2010 10:12 pm (UTC)
That was beautiful. Great fic<333
lillianschild: still waitinglillianschild on May 13th, 2010 07:08 pm (UTC)
Thanks, darling. I hope you'll like the rest of my work as much.
Jengreenlady2 on May 13th, 2010 05:57 am (UTC)
Awww. This is beautiful, but so sad. Both Chloe and Lex deserved better than what they got. I think they should have joined forces, and maybe they might have saved each other.
lillianschild: gaplillianschild on May 13th, 2010 07:11 pm (UTC)
Blame it on my melancholy mood; you know I always try to give Lex hope and/or love in my fics.
purple_moon123: Chlexpurple_moon123 on May 13th, 2010 06:24 am (UTC)
That was absolutely beautiful!!!!

Great job, Lexie!!!
lillianschild: toastlillianschild on May 13th, 2010 07:17 pm (UTC)
Glad you loved it despite its angsty quality, Rocío.
Kathy: Chlex anger momentkitmerlot1213 on May 13th, 2010 02:17 pm (UTC)
Oh the beautful angst kills me! Great work on this :)
lillianschild: faint embracelillianschild on May 13th, 2010 07:19 pm (UTC)
I tend to lean towards angst in my short fics- blame it on that time of the month. *grins*

Thanks for your nice words, Kit.