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25 March 2010 @ 04:43 pm
"Last Time" (Chlex one-shot ): Romance/Angst (R)  
SUMMARY: Sometimes promises can be very hard to keep.

AUTHOR: Lexie aka
[info]lillianschild 

RATING: R

PAIRING: Chlex


 
 
LAST TIME

You tell yourself this will be the last time and yet you’ve said that to yourself more than a dozen times now. It’s like an addiction you think you can control at will, a drug you can drop or pick up again when you feel the need. That’s exactly what you and I are, two junkies who can’t stay away from their weekly fix of this thing we daren’t give a name to. Too much water has run under this bridge and yet it seems we can’t let it go.

Today’s you who’s arrived earlier- or is it me who’s taken longer than usual? Me, who’s always in complete control of his actions, can’t see straight when it comes to you and these emotions which I can’t identify because I’ve never experienced them before, feelings which are pulling me in multiple directions and leave me with the unsavoury realisation that I’m no longer in control of my life. Not being in the driver’s seat is alien to me and so here I am again determined to detach myself from emotion and thought and put an end to this. I’m here to reclaim what you took away from me the night you waltzed into that charity ball dressed in a green tight-fitting dress that enticed my lustful senses; the night I forgot each and every one of the reasons I’d always held onto not to get entangled with you.

You’re standing in front of the panoramic windows of this penthouse- my favourite property in Metropolis and one that I’ve decided to sell once this is over. You’re standing with your back to me and still the sight of your beauty in the moonlight is all that it takes to make me fall right back. I grow distant with distance- this has always been my self-defence armour- and I took refuge in it for a fortnight; that’s how long my fast and yours lasted until our paths chanced to cross last night. Another charity event, one you weren’t supposed to attend because we‘d agreed you would stay away from them to keep business and pleasure apart. An ill-timed skiing accident and a social columnist wearing a full body cast ended up with Perry White sending his best investigative reporter to cover the event; an event I was planning to leave with my date- another inconsequential and innocuous one-night stand that I would have forgotten by the time I left the hotel room immediately after the deed. Last night should have been the perfect excuse to show myself and you that... us... this...had been nothing but an extended one-night stand.

I look out of the window at the city underneath-your city- and wonder what I’m doing here yet again. I’d promised myself I wouldn't give in to this inexplicable force that pulls me like a magnet to you and your dangerous games. Because this has to be a game, it can’t be anything else, not when you’re his bitterest enemy and I the keeper of his deepest secret, the secret you’ve always tried to find out, the enigma you realised I held the key to when you dragged me to the caves all those years ago. I feel the touch of your hand on my nape as you move my hair to one side and lean your head down to nuzzle my neck. I feel electricity run up and down my spine when your lips brush the shell of my ear. I close my eyes and struggle to detach myself from emotion and thought. I try to order my nerve terminals to go numb. I tell my breath to slow down, my breasts to resist your caresses and my feminine core to stop its rhythmic fluttering, but it’s all in vein.

The smell of your expensive yet subtle masculine perfume assaults my senses and behind my closed eyes I can replay last night’s encounter. I can feel the exhilarating possessiveness of your lovemaking as you bring me to completion with my cocktail dress still on before leading me to the sofa, where you proceed to ravish me with a passion I haven’t experienced since our first encounter. Our coming together in that music room adjoining one of the hotel’s exclusive restaurants, which is closed for refurbishing, leaves me altogether confused. Have I been wrong all these months? Or am I just trying to convince myself there is more than lust in our frenzied coupling this once? I shouldn’t be even considering it, not when it could mean ending the oldest and most enduring relationship I’ve ever had, my friendship with the young man whose secret has prevented me from truly committing myself to a life of my own and you from having the loving foster family and brother you were denied.

I try to tell my hands to stop their roaming over the planes, curves and indentations of your body. I order my lips to give up your pebbled peaks but my resolve is weak and I’m drawn to your mouth again. And as my tongue tastes the sweet nectar and you wrap your legs around my waist inviting me to sheath myself in your warmth I promise this will be the last time. I walk us to the bedroom where the bed with fresh satin sheets awaits us and I look into your eyes as I lay you down- your body locked with mine like two pieces of a puzzle that don’t fit elsewhere but here. I wish I could read what’s going through your mind now, when you’re with me in this room, open to me in the most primitive of ways and yet close in the one way that really matters. I wish I knew exactly how you feel and hate myself for being this weak. I struggle to suppress this childish appetite for affection. However, each taste of your intimacy makes me hungrier and I bring our bodies closer still, feel your walls clutch at me as if you really wanted this to be more than it is. And you close your eyes and look away and I feel our time is limited. I close mine too and as we both come undone we promise this has been the last time.

THE END
 
 
Current Mood: curiouscurious
 
 
 
Jengreenlady2 on March 26th, 2010 07:20 am (UTC)
Hmmm. Somehow I don't think this will be the last time. I think they're both in too deep. :-)))
lillianschild: kiss aproachlillianschild on March 26th, 2010 03:31 pm (UTC)
You're right, Jen. That's what I felt when I wrote this; that no matter the excuses they make or how hard they're trying to fight it, they'll come back for more.
eternal_moonieeternal_moonie on March 26th, 2010 09:54 am (UTC)
I totally loved reading this story! Well done honey!
lillianschild: still waitinglillianschild on March 26th, 2010 03:32 pm (UTC)
Thanks, darling. I'm really pleased you enjoyed it.