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04 December 2009 @ 11:42 am
"Leap of Faith" (Chlex one-shot) PG-13, Drama/Romance  
TITLE: “Leap of Faith”

CHALLENGE: November´09-
Naughty-Seduction Challenge #6-"A Pregnant Pause"

RATING: PG

PAIRING: Chlex

AUTHOR: Lexie aka
lillianschild

A/N: This story is set in the first quarter of Season 5 but it also makes reference to events that occurred in Season 3 and the second half of Season 4. The three-month gap between seasons 4 and 5 has been omitted for my own creative needs.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The moment I learn through Clark she´s been hospitalised and that her life is hanging by a thread, I´m assaulted by a sudden bout of pain and regret- feelings which I´ve tried to crush ever since her return to Smallville after the trial. I´ve done my best to forget her because thinking of her and entertaining dreams of a happy life with someone like her not only make me weak but annihilate my most treasured shield against the curveballs of this world- the self-delusion of having control , of believing myself invulnerable. That very same armour which she can dent so easily by the mere fact of being made me lash out at her in the caves not so long ago. Does she know jealousy is consuming me? Does she realise that our silent pact to stay away from each other has never been what I wanted? Why have you been avoiding me, Chloe? I could replay the whole conversation by heart, imagine the grimace on my father´s face if he heard his son demean himself by begging for an explanation, then see the proud smile on my old man´s face. I heard being a third wheel is very time consuming.

I wish I could withdraw those words, say what I wanted to say. Regret... longing... aren´t emotions that I- the man who´s plotting to win over the girl of Clark´s dreams- should allow himself to have; and still I experience them whenever the thought of the blonde spitfire crosses my mind. Why is she haunting my sleep of late? Is it, perhaps, the knowledge that by pursuing Lana I´m forfeiting every chance I might ever have to attain happiness? Such questions accompany me to the room at Smallville Medical Center where Chloe is lying unconscious like Sleeping Beauty awaiting her Prince´s kiss of life.

I close the door behind me and approach the orthopaedic bed. I couldn´t be further removed from a fairytale prince and Chloe has never been the proverbial damsel in distress, still I wonder if my mere presence will bring her out of her slumber the way it did back in Yukon. She looks unnaturally pale- all those transfusions have taken their toll. I´m not ready to lose yet another woman I love. I take a deep breath and remove from my pocket the syringe with the antidote my team has produced as part of Project 1138 and, gingerly, as if I were trespassing on sacred ground, I part her hospital gown with fingers which are uncharacteristically shaky. I should be in another hospital room, impaling a brunette´s heart with this needle-like stake like a modern day Van Helsing. Why? Why did my heart bring me here first? This wasn´t part of my carefully laid plans. I find my answer the second the swell of her creamy breasts comes to view. And the response leaves me breathless.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It´s been two weeks since I was bitten by Vampire Lana and awoke in a hospital bed with Clark´s name on my lips to find myself being virtually cradled by the man who´s been haunting both my sleeping and my waking hours. I wonder if he knows, if his agile mind has already worked it out. It´s taken me over two months to come to terms with the fact that it isn´t just stress what´s interfering with my menstrual cycle. It´s taken me over two months and being touched by the same hands which worshipped me one night not so very long ago to accept that it wasn´t just a dream. I wonder if knowing would make any difference to him now that he´s set his eyes on Lana.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The ding announces an incoming e-mail while I´m on the phone giving my stockbroker some last minute instructions. I see the sender´s name and can hear my heart galloping like a young colt. The arrow hovers for a few seconds over the message which I´ve been expecting since last morning. I click on the attachment and as the images load on my laptop my heart skips a beat. Twelve weeks. It all adds up.

The basement of The Planet is deserted when I cross the door of her crammed little office- the one Mrs Kahn allotted her after reading her sorority piece. She´s got her back to the entrance and seems to be too engrossed in what her eyes are perusing to notice she´s no longer alone. I see her wipe her eyes with the back of her hand and then lay it on her womb protectively. She´s looking at the baby´s first NT scan. I wonder if she feels the way I did when I stared in rapture at the miracle of life we created together. Childhood dreams. A lifetime of yearning denied by the cruel hand of fate. The blessed chance of unconditional love.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I close my eyes overwhelmed by the sight of the life that´s growing inside me. I´m short of breath all of a sudden, assailed by memories of my own mother and the gaping affective void she left in my life. Would he feel the same? Would he be assaulted by that gnawing feeling of inadequacy? He would. I know him too well to ever doubt that. I open my eyes again and trace the contours of innocence with eager fingers. It´s only twelve weeks and I cannot wait to hold it- I, who´s never thought of herself as the motherly type. Warm tears are pricking behind my eyelids. I can still feel the devotion of his hands on my skin and see the naked need to be loved and accepted in his blue-grey eyes as he fills me. Happiness is such an elusive creature, isn't it? We all wish for it, but very few ever really find it. Doesn't make the search any less important. Or the destination. I opened my door and let him in knowing the odds, and I can´t say I regret it. I realised who was standing at my doorstep the moment I looked into his eyes. I clung to that part of us we´d left in the summer house and decided to make a leap of faith.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This young woman standing in front of me holds the key to my heart and every dream I´ve ever dared to dream. This beautiful soul who helped me believe I too could be someone´s knight in shining armour- despite the blood that runs through my veins- is carrying our child. I don´t need a DNA test to prove what my heart already knows; the simple jewel dangling from her gold necklace is proof enough. She´s the one; and the twin that didn´t make a move on Lana but sought his soul mate in Clark´s best friend evidently knew it-he gave her the chain and the pendant I bought my mother for our last Christmas together.

“Did he hurt you?” I ask quietly when a subtle gesture tells me she´s become aware of my presence.

“He didn´t. He´d never harm me; he loves me. But the other one did,” she responds in a raspy voice.

“I´m sorry, Chloe,” I say after a pregnant pause. “I´m so very sorry.”

“Sorry is not enough, Lex. You´ve robbed me. You´ve robbed us,” she replies with glassy eyes as she turns around and looks at me unflinchingly. “I want him back. We want him back,” she adds passionately, touching the little bump that is our baby. She knows I´m aware she isn´t talking just about herself now; she´s known it ever since she woke up in that hospital bed and met my incredulous eyes. Although I pride myself on being a great actor, I´ve had the best teacher, seeing my mother´s gift on her and realising why she´d been avoiding me cracked my armour for a couple of seconds- long enough for her to see beyond my mask.

“So do I. I want to be there for the second sonogram,” I tell her with a big lump in my throat.

I hold my breath waiting for her answer, hoping to be deserving and- when it finally comes- I feel tears of relief and joy well up in my eyes. I can´t do it. I can´t keep my cool façade around her; she sees through me. And for the first time, I don´t care she realises how vulnerable I´m around her, how easily she can hurt me the way my darker half has hurt her.

We´ve both stripped our souls bare and I don´t mind feeling weak. I welcome it. It makes me feel human; it makes me want to be the husband my dad never was to my mum and the father he´s never been to me. I´m terrified, scared witless of ruining everything. I suppose that´s a start.

THE END

Note: The lines in italics have been taken verbatim from "Mortal" (Season 5).
 
 
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
 
 
 
phantom_queenphantom_queen on December 4th, 2009 03:43 pm (UTC)
Aww, I love Chlex, great fic.
lillianschild: naughtylillianschild on December 4th, 2009 03:45 pm (UTC)
Glad you enjoyed it and thanks a lot for your feedback. ;)
phoenixnzphoenixnz on December 4th, 2009 08:24 pm (UTC)
Aww, this was beautiful. I love how Lex just knows in his heart what's right.
lillianschild: tuxlillianschild on December 5th, 2009 01:36 am (UTC)
Thanks for your warm words.;)
paigeangelbsb on December 4th, 2009 08:48 pm (UTC)
that was so wonderful. but so sad also they way they were keep apart by i do not know what . so is his mom apart of chloe now ? is she carrying julen now ?
lillianschild: secretlillianschild on December 5th, 2009 01:27 am (UTC)
that was so wonderful. but so sad also they way they were keep apart by i do not know what

I´m pleased you enjoyed it.

so is his mom apart of chloe now ? is she carrying julen now ?

No, darling, nothing as twisted as that. In my fic, the good part of Lex that was separated from his evil half in Onyx went looking for Chloe, while his bad part made a move on Lana on the show.

As a result of their coming together, Chloe got pregnant with Lex´s child- no cloning, experimenting or synthetic hormones here- this is a pregnancy achieved in the old-fashioned way. Chloe´s expecting her and Lex´s baby. There´s no part of Lillian in her. Chloe´s simply wearing a necklace that used to belong to Lillian, a gift that Lex´s better half gave to Chloe while he was two.The gift is very special because it is a present he himself once bought for his mum, and seeing Chloe wearing it reveals a lot to him- he´d give that necklace only to the woman he loved, the one person he´d choose to marry one day. The thing´s that once Lex´s two halves got together again, he forgot being intimate with Chloe; though he knows odd things happened while he was two people.

As regards what kept them apart... Well, they stayed apart after the trial without an actual explanation on the show. However, it was so evident that he resented this distancing when they met in the caves in Mortal and that he wanted to know the reason, that I simply tried to explain it by creating a secret she might be afraid to share with him: that she´s expecting his baby, a baby she assumes he can´t know of because he was two separate people at the time they begot it.

As usual Lex´s too sharp and figured it out on his own.
paigeangelbsb on December 5th, 2009 08:38 am (UTC)
thank you so much for explining all of that to me . i like what you did much better then what they did on the show. i hated how all the guys always wanted lana and now want lois . what about chloe .
lillianschild: headachelillianschild on December 5th, 2009 03:14 pm (UTC)
You´re welcome. And I agree with you; poor Chloe has had as much bad luck with her love life as Lex.I can´t believe any worthy individual doesn´t realise what an attractive and intelligent girl she is.
vodooman: chlexvodooman on December 4th, 2009 09:00 pm (UTC)
sigh... this is really beautiful! and so much emotions and everything... beautiful!!!
I totally love your chlex dynamics in there... lex is sooo beautifully authentic!
lillianschild: toastlillianschild on December 5th, 2009 01:29 am (UTC)
Thanks for your beautiful words, Basma. The fact that you found my version of Lex authetic and true to the character is a real compliment.
vodoomanvodooman on December 5th, 2009 06:21 pm (UTC)
I usually compare every lex i read to season 1-4 lex... so, I loved reading this...
Jengreenlady2 on December 5th, 2009 08:17 am (UTC)
Wow! Great story. I wish they'd done something like this on Smallville, but then they would have just messed it up, as we all know. :-)))
lillianschild: naughtylillianschild on December 5th, 2009 05:24 pm (UTC)
So do I. But you´re right, they would have ruined the storyline yet again.

Thanks for reading and reviewing once again
purple_moon123: Chlexpurple_moon123 on December 9th, 2009 08:28 am (UTC)
Great story!!

Love how you tie in all the Chlex moments to build this wonderful piece.

Now I'm dreaming of Chlex babies!!!
lillianschild: happy couplelillianschild on December 14th, 2009 04:56 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your feedback, Rocío. I´m glad you enjoyed it.